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Respect is always essential, first of all the rest

Forse non sarebbe neanche il caso di ripeterlo, ma il rispetto è una cosa molto importante, specie in un rapporto BDSM.

E' importante per chi si sottomette rispettare Who / dominates and this is something quite natural in this kind of relationship, it is almost a part of it. Respect for those who dominated it almost goes without saying dominates and can not be otherwise.

But it is equally important to respect a ruler who is always dominated / a.

This aspect of respect in BDSM is often not fully understood and is not put into practice, at least by some people. Some dominant

(whether master or mistress) to be handled without respect to the / their domain. Some did not have a very clear difference between the respect a person and feel inferior to that person.

These two things are very different but in terms of emotions and habits can be difficult to put into practice this difference.

Let me be clear here I'm not talking about any of the "moments of BDSM play, it's a" BDSM scenes and BDSM relationships nor all-encompassing but balanced. In these situations, the "lack of respect" may indeed be an integral part of the experience is often rightly sought by both partners. But it is always a lack of respect on and limited to certain situations that are shared between the partners and there is always communication.

From then and for the rest of the article, I'm talking about a basic attitude of lack of respect that only a few dominant hanno.

Dal punto di vista delle emozioni, potrebbe sembrare che se un master (o una mistress) non tratta sempre la sua schiava come una forma inferiore di vita, come una nullità che si può e si deve calpestare e maltrattare senza alcun riguardo, questo master (o mistress) stia facendo una cosa errata, che non va daccordo col suo essere dominante e superiore.

Ma non è affatto cosi.

Dal punto di vista delle abitudini, succede più o meno a tutti che in un  "rapporto di gerarchia" (sul posto di lavoro, per esempio, ma non solo) c'è l'abitudine a subire la mancanza di rispetto di chi sta più in alto di noi ed ad infliggere mancanza di rispetto a chi sta più in basso di noi.  Questo genere di comportamenti vengono fatti in modo automatico, senza pensare ne ai motivi, ne al loro significano, ne se sono giusti o sbagliati.

Ma non è affatto detto che debba per forza essere cosi.

Il BDSM è sempre una questione di scelta: niente e nessuno ci obbliga veramente a sottometterci ad un altra persona cosi come niente e nessuno ci obbliga veramente a prenderci la responsabilità di (ed a fare tutto il lavoro necessario per ) sottomettere un'altra persona.

Lo facciamo perché ci piace farlo e soprattutto perché decidiamo di farlo.

La situazione è totalmente diversa rispetto ad un "rapporto di gerarchia" quindi non è affatto necessario affermare la propria "superiorità" (vera o presunta che sia) usando la mancanza di rispetto nei confronti di chi sta sotto. Nel contesto BDSM, usare la mancanza di rispetto per di affermare una presunta "superiorità" in realtà è un comportamento debole, che ha solo l'apparenza di un comportamento dominante mentre non lo è affatto.

Ricordiamoci sempre che il BDSM, tramite le "scene " o i momenti di gioco condivisi, permette anche di vivere tutte queste cose in modo da non entrare mai nella mancanza di rispetto VERA per una persona.

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Trust is not is automatic, but is constructed in the dominant hard time

Un aspetto molto importante di una rapporto dominazione /sottomissione è la costruzione della fiducia reciproca.

The type of relationship that involves BDSM search in physically dangerous practices that can be combined with emotions and feelings that can be very upsetting. The extreme intensity is something that is sought by all the people who are interested in BDSM, every person (in his own way) tries intensity that is physical, emotional, intellectual, emotional or all of these aspects together.

The temptation is to dive head first, is to forge ahead and get carried away in the "fire" of a practice or a relationship without being too much to think about the consequences. This can go very well, even being overwhelmed can be part of the experience sought and has its value and its taste.

Before you rely on someone / a in this way, you need to take time to know each other, talking (maybe even things outside of BDSM) and try to evaluate the person before us. Who wants to submit to observe and study the person who may him / her submit, subjugate those who want to observe and study the person who will eventually subdue him / her.

At this stage of the relationship we build a very important aspect, mutual trust based on knowing the other person .

For example, if you need to understand that self-control and has dominated since, whether it is necessary to know the practices that dominated then realize that, you should understand what kind of submission that particular subject / wants and to imagine what kind of submission or may accept, you need to understand if that subject has emotional problems / emotional, and what type and severity.

All this (and other) can not be completed immediately, you can not achieve this just riding the momentum of an interest profound and instantaneous.

A dominant that wants absolutely forge ahead, someone / a pushing and trying relentlessly pursues something more from the subject is undoubtedly one of his charm. That is the charm of the strong-willed and who is not satisfied claims or the charm of the woman demanding and alters that does not allow her time to any one who claims devotion and unstinting.

But this way of conducting the game has a flaw, it does not allow a ruler to know the characteristics of those who are dominated (even if only to use them better) and allows those who are dominated to clearly assess the characteristics and qualities of those who would dominate.

Going fast does not allow to build trust.

In my opinion, anyone who claims that a submissive / a merely "abide immediately" to its requests have an attitude suspicion, why do not you care any way to build trust and mutual knowledge necessary to run a real BDSM relationship.

Pay attention then to those who behave like that, because those who seek a "submission snapshot" in my opinion has no desire to learn anything but just want a game more or less superficial and funny.

Let's be clear, to me there is nothing wrong in trying just a fun game, God forbid. But almost inevitable problems arise when one partner starts to believe the words of the other without seeing that this person does not care to build the confidence of knowing it.

If you want you can try to compare the initial stage of a BDSM relationship with a "crush" adolescent.

It is certainly not the same thing but in terms of emotions and feelings the comparison holds very well. The moment you click the Falling in love, instinct is to let go, to burn immediately stops without taking the time to really know each other and build mutual trust. Almost the same thing can happen in the early stages of a BDSM relationship and the risks are similar, in fact are even greater given that in the BDSM genre of particular individuals (and emotions) certainly has a greater degree of risk.

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perhaps have a license to do anything?

Many dominant men and women have a way to do extremely hard.

What could be more exciting for a man who subjected a Mrs. strong-willed and insensitive as it is a total nullity, was bullied mercilessly, as it imposes its whims laughing at him and cruelly punished?

What could be more exhilarating for a woman subjected to a strict and inflexible master who uses it for his own pleasure, the vents on your every whim and inflicts terrible punishment for the slightest failure or simply whenever you decide to do so ?

A ruthless demeanor and attitude has a lot of sense in a BDSM relationship.

should make a very important distinction : What is a style and temperament but all else are responsibility , know-how and self .

should never be confused.

Each has its own dominant style and his way of doing.
Some have the attitude of teachers / teachers and / or to instruct the submissive willingly / in explaining what they want and not what they want. Others have a strong-willed temperament and just expect total obedience (without explanation) by the submissive / a. Some have an attitude almost paternal (or maternal) and deal with the submissive / a as an adult with a child / to be corrected. Some are whimsical, others are patient (usually only up to a certain extent), others insist on very few issues, others are interested in different situations and / or practices. Some are very experienced, others have less. Some dominate through some form of psychological pressure, others rely heavily on physical punishment. Some require a structured system of rules and punishments. Others simply demand what they want at that moment and to punish their opinion and will.

But things that are indispensable to any ruling, whatever its style and the way they are responsibility, self and know-how .

Even a cruel mistress, willful and capricious must never fail to be Responsible, self-control and ability to practice BDSM sceglie.

Anche un master severo, inflessibile ed esigente non deve ma mancare di essere resposabile, autocontrollato e deve saper fare le pratiche BDSM che sceglie.

Se un dominante si fa prendere dalla sua stessa durezza e arriva a mancare anche solo in una queste tre aree, allora sta agendo male, sta per mettere in pericolo il suo sottomesso/a e (se non l'ha già fatto), sta per cacciarsi da solo/a in grossi guai e forse quello che fà può anche arrivare a scadere nella semplice violenza (che non è il BDSM!) .

E' necessario che questo sia ben chiaro sia a chi domina sia a chi è sottomesso.