(Note: This article is part of a series of Notes BDSM in practice )
safeword The code words are determined in advance that you can provide a quickly and unequivocally during a critical time BDSM action.
The reason for using a SafeWord is this: during any practice BDSM, the submissive (or submitted) may make the previously agreed safeword and any questions you must stop immediately any action themselves doing.
Normally when safeword is used when there is an abrupt interruption of the game (or BDSM scene) and who was making is freed from all constraint and possibly comforted / or (or assistance / a, depending on the situation) .
Do not ever stop to consider this as a failure on the part of the subject (or subject), it should never accuse a posteriori to a subject (or subject to) the fact of using it. It 's always the questions that a decision on whether a subject SafeWord or SafeWord but if one chooses to do it is his duty to respect anyone who uses it.
The SafeWord may be a useful tool for the practice of BDSM, and are particularly useful in the early stages of a relationship or when you are not completely familiar with the partners with which we act. They can be used in private or a public event (a party) where you can meet new people interested in BDSM play.
Some people prefer to establish two safeword with different weights: one of these means "now there's a real problem, stop everything immediately," while the other does not imply the interruption of the BDSM, but it just means "slows down what you are doing now, for me is too intense. "
safeword The choices should be simple words but that is unlikely to say during BDSM action, are a classic choice of colors and names in particular "Red" is often used to stop, while "yellow" may be used to slow down. Since these two are well known SafeWord, are often used as a default at public events such as parties or the like, because they are easily recognizable by many people even if there has not been able to establish and communicate what are the safeword in use. Moreover, in participating in BDSM parties, it is important inform us about the "house rules" about SafeWord and safety of gambling in general and ask if by chance there is a person with the responsibility to monitor and control the physical safety during BDSM play of all people.
Since it is possible that those who suffer the action is gagged or for some other reason unable to speak clearly, you can also use a non-verbal signals such as SafeWord. It 'better to agree on a particular act done by the subject (or subject) that functions as a safeword pronounced. Examples of actions that can function as SafeWord are: snapped his fingers, open and close the fist three times, making three "grunts" (if the person is gagged), or drop to the ground a small object (a coin or the like) held in the palm of your hand. Obviously, this object must be placed in the hands of the subject (or submitted) by the dominant exactly for this purpose.
safeword These non-verbal cues are also important because during a submissive BDSM action (or a submissive) may slide into a mild state of altered consciousness that is called subspace. This term is almost untranslatable in Italian, but refers to a state of mind you want, and usually very pleasant to a submissive or a more subdued reaction to the attentions of slip as a DOM. When a person feels that way often stop talking altogether and becomes almost totally non-verbal because it is focused only on her physical and inner feelings. In these cases the use of nonverbal safeword such as those mentioned before becomes almost an obligation.
The important thing is to decide (or communicate) the safeword verbal and / or non-verbal before the BDSM action, agreed upon by all the participants, so that everyone knows clearly if they are used and what safeword will be used.
Where the action is BDSM in a public place and time (eg at a party) is also possible that viewers use the SafeWord scene to stop the action if it discovers an issue safety or believe that the action is going out of control. The fact that a person who is just watching you take the resposabilità BDSM action to stop other people is always a critical point, as a casual viewer (who is not familiar with people who are playing) can not know with certainty whether safety limits have been exceeded or not. E 'must also consider that, since we are talking about a game result and not a private situation between just / a dom and sub, all persons are still involved and it is right that even a simple viewer can pause the action, if in his opinion the limits have been exceeded.
It 'important to always consider that the use of SafeWord is primarily dominated by aid to always be able to better understand what is the physical and emotional state of the subject (or subject). In an ideal situation, during BDSM action, the domain should always focus its full attention on the sub and still be able to understand based on what looks and her experience which is the state of sub, and then know at any moment if you are "playing" within the limits of physical endurance and psychological submissive / o. Get this excellent control of the situation requires from the BDSM dominant is a good experience is a concentration without any lapses or errors in momentary. Since it is not always possible to have a good experience and a perfect concentration, the use of SafeWord may make sense for both the dominant novice to experienced ones.
You must also add that the use of SafeWord is not an absolute requirement and that some people prefer the game without this rule because BDSM feel that the possibility of interruption by the subject (or subject) to take off too sottomissone sense of abandonment and that they seek. What some people are looking for the BDSM is just to "make" to do or be "forced" to do something and this particular point of view may be contrary to give opportunities to those who endure to interrupt the game pronounce a simple word. Since we are still talking about consensual BDSM action, the subject (or subject) has, however, given some time before his consent to rely totally dominant, the trial and his ability. The ruling has always responsible for what happens (With or without safeword) and obviously in control of its action also the state of the sub, moment by moment, judging whether a certain action at a certain time is acceptable or not. In the event that the SafeWord are not used for these purposes and thus uses the term "non-consensual consensus" to indicate both the fact that apparently no action was consensual (then looks for the "forcing") and the fact that in any case a consensus BDSM action has been given (and may always be denied) and then it is not violence but of BDSM.
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